Alright, PMR is getting real close. There's only like 6 or 7 more days before i enter the battlefield. So this might be my last posts before 13th of October, 2009. To people who miss me, continue missing me, to people for love me, go on what you're doing, to people who hate me, go fuck yourself alright? Alright cool, so let's get started!
Love makes you feel happy for her words, exciting for her every move, passion for her every love, cherish for every moment you had and have with her, delight for every jokes she made, crazy for her, and tear for every hurting words.
From the past fifteen years of my life, spent 7 months and a week to find out a fact, a truth, that only the one you love, you care, you like hurts you most. For those who ever fall in love, hurting words from your lover's mouth, they make you feel like they're tearing your chest apart, grabbing out your heart and stab on it. Those who never feel that kind of pain, ever, sorry to break your little tiny soul, that you and your ex or current girlfriends are just some kind of puppy loves, some kind of extra-friend relationships, but not loves.
Here's a short story of mine. When i was a kid, i had some kind of "like" feeling to a girl. I don't want my friends to find out who i liked, so i lied to them i like another girl. Eventually, day after day passed, and i lied and lied until the day i left both of the girls. Same thing happen these days, i like a girl, but she has no feelings at all to me and i lied to myself i don't like her, and i will forget about her. I hate lies, and i don't really lie much, not to her, not to anyone else anymore now. I decided, to stop lying and just continue like her, smile and pretend to be friends forever.
There's a quote, keep spinning in my mind, "
Ignorance is your best defense, your lovers are your greatest enemies who break through all defenses of yours, who usually are the one who hurts you most."